Should I tell her I know?

[saffie]

I agree with Choc but would say it's not only about confrontation but also about setting boundaries that YOU WILL adhere to if your S doesn't come through. Don't ever threaten anything you aren't willing to follow through on.

In my sitch, it was getting everything out in the open that was the beginning of the end. And to see what happened look at my signature. H told me about his A in the month that it ended. Once I knew I made sure everyone concerned knew and although it got very stormy for about a week it did finish the A off - dead in the water.

I do however believe that luck and timing play a big part in it all, as do the reasons that the WAS felt the need for an A - whether it be an EA or a PA. Although many of our situations appear similar and we hear the same old contrite things being said by our S's, everyone's sitch is slightly different and you have to factor your own differences into what action you take based on the advice given. Only YOU and your S know what's really going on.