When I went to pick S up (with severely swollen eyes). He made small talk about how good S had been blah blah blah. (D was still sleeping so she didn't see me). For a split second he actually looked at me and I thought I saw a look of empathy in his eyes. But who knows.
You guys don't seem to have much of a routine with the kids - Not that anyone wants to schedule time 'away' from them, but days here and there really cause a lot of stress. My W and I are totally out of whack with our schedule and it's causing us both a lot of sleepless nights and anxiety because we can't keep track of it.
It's really hard to keep yourself together all of the time - Don't beat yourself up for breaking down, crying and being upset. You're human, under a lot of stress and trying to make your S & D as content as possible in a very difficult situation.
I told my W tonight that I wanted to watch D - It's my weekend with her and W has had a lot of sleepless nights with D over the last week or so. That said, after reading your post and thinking about conversations I've had with W today, I feel as guilty as hell for not giving W more time with D when I know W is feeling very lonely and unhappy. We all know my situation is ass backwards and stupid, so I'm certainly not trying to draw comparisons, but I do realize how tough it is and how difficult it can be to manage a family that is split in two.
