The "wish I could go back in time" is only valid if you've ENDED IT currently. I'm sorry, but from where I'm sitting, if you're still persisting in the affair, it doesn't seem to me like you wish you could go back and change anything, and it's really perplexing to me when you've been a victim of the same thing yourself when your H had an affair.
When my wife was in the midst of her affair, she kept saying "I screwed up -- I made a mistake!" After hearing that for the umpteenth time, I said "No, honey, leaving your car window open when it rains is a 'mistake'. Even a one-night stand, as unjustified as that also is, MIGHT be considered a horrible, horrible 'mistake'. But what you're doing is getting up every morning and making a conscious decision to CONTINUE TO HAVE AN AFFAIR, knowing how much it's killing me, our daughters, and your parents. That's not a 'mistake' at all -- it's a day-after-day, continuous DECISION."
