I saw the subject of your thread and felt the need to comment. I have a 5 year plan. It started off as a way to keep me motivated. I didn't let my W know about it until I was DB'ing for 4 years.
You need to have plenty of patience and empathy to last this long. More important you need to work on yourself. Schedule frequent visits to a MC who's goal orientated. Venting on this BB helps, but the immeadiate feedback helps us keep our sanity.
I told you earlier that I told my W about my 4 year plan. It didn't have the effect as I desired. I thought she would say we don't have much time and I want work on our M. Instead she kept quiet and withdrew even further. Well it will be 5 years this April and I have that big decision to make or do I?
It's great to have a plan... not just any plan a complete plan. One with goals and techniques you can use when things get tough. I wrote my goals and then tucked them away in a draw. Goals stashed away don't help fight for a M.
My mistake is not having a complete plan. Sg, has created a DB'ing buddy thread for me. I'M STARTING ALL OVER. No it's not going to be like the last 5 years. This time I'm going to follow the DB book, establish some goals and make the necessary adjustments. My W doesn't want to leave b/c I've been making it difficult for her. How? By DB'ing, which is forcing her to look inward for the problems with our M.
Please pass this on to Meredith and if you or her need help - let me know.
Please see my Goals thread and pitch in with a few ideas. Our little internet community is only as strong as our members make it.
