Help...feel frustrated, helpless and sad! WAW/?MLC

[mishka422]

Purr -

I hear your pain and frustration and understand completely. You need to find an outlet for your frustration and sadness and you have come to the right place for that. We are all here to listen and offer as much support as we can.

Although no one here is an expert, we have all been dealing with these MLC'ers for varying amounts of time.

Now, to the struggles you are having today.

I know you say that you are sure there is no OM/PA. I was "sure" of that at first also and H adamantly denied it until I actually caught him red-handed so to speak. Just prepare yourself for any possibility. Since she said that sex is so important to her right now but she is not feeling sexually toward you right now it sent up a few red flags in my head. Not to say that she is lying about there being no OM, I just think you should be prepared for the possibility.

I know what you mean about being a central person in her life and the suddenly having little contact. I talked to my H every day, several times per day for 18 years. Now, we have NC unless it has to do with our son. Even then it is strained at best with him threatening all sorts of legal crud (which he has no leg to stand on about but it must make him feel like he has control) if the conversation doesn't go exactly like he wants it. The only way to get beyond that is to find ways to occupy your time. Find a hobby you could get interested in, preferrably one that you can be around other people doing. Do you attend a church? If so, do they have any bible study groups you could join?

I am also struggling with the "believe none of what we hear and half of what we see" so I'm afraid I'm no help with that. All I can say is that in my understanding, the spew that comes from the MLC'ers mouth is mostly a bunch of BS that you can't take to heart in any way and what you see is usually an act they are putting on. That's how I see it anyway.

Purr, you will feel hopeless for a while until you can let go of her to work on herself and only be concerned with working on YOU. You need to use this time to grow as a person. Examine the things in your life that can be improved on - relationships with friends & family, spiritual life, physical wellbeing, etc.

I'm not really sure what else to say right now that could help you but know that you are not alone in this. We will all be here to give advice where we can and support always.

Take care.