sgctxok....I'm listening.....

[faithisbelieving]

My W was hysterical tonite....she doesn't want a divorce.

I faxed my complaint into my L today before this....36 items....9 type written pages.

I listened to her....I asked her HOW she could undo the complete destruction and hurt? I asked her HOW she could rebuild the bridges destroyed NOT only between MY family but the 'filtered truth' she gave to hers? I told her that this D was in HER hands now. I told her that I would not stop it.....but...I also told her that this could be a good test.

I told her she could read what I wrote...and curse me....hate me....become vindictive...and..this would be OK because it would get it moving along.

Or....she could read this....and look inward....and see the pain and hurt she caused everyone and perhaps...PERHAPS...use it to grow. I told her that, contradictory to what she said, I wrote this NOT TO HURT HER....but...to show how much SHE HURT ME. And I told her that most of my paragraphs ended 'and this caused me pain'.

The filing will go forward, but, now....my W must show me...ME...that she wants it, because, for ME to let HER back in..she must do what ALL OF YOU TOLD ME TO DO.....to make lasting changes.

I won't be hurt again.....and I will NOT be around for OM4.

She asked me to hug her...and I did...even tho' D is not over.

I'm listening now.....afterall, isn't that what DB'ing is all about?

Strength and Honor

And to quote bworl...and..to Jeff, Frank_d, ford 4kids FH, et al......I now declare that my self-blame is over....that I have mostly defeated the 'little boy' inside. I can hold my head and shoulders high...and I thank all of you and the friends I've met here on these boards....for that....because I stood not really for my M in the end, but I stood for MY SELF RESPECT and stayed strong for my kids. A great weight has been lifted today. You were all right...it WAS all about her.

God bless all of you.