Snodderly, You are so right. My H is filled with shame and guilt. I can feel it eating at him. It must not be easy for him to look in the mirror.
You are also right that I spend way too much time trying to figure it him out. I guess I am just so scared that I am being played the fool. That he is manipulating me.
His actions are so bizarre. They totally contradict his declarations of love for MOW and how great he once told me she made him feel and how he was done with me. MLC BS...I guess.
I hope my H is that pot...I will try to stop watching it so closely. Perhaps then it will start to boil (or bake in this case).
BND.....It is so hard having him around. Sometimes I wish he were further away. Maybe then he would bake up quicker if that is God's plan for him. I really feel like my R with H is stuck in a rut. No budging.
His tm's and his calls at night make me just want to scream "if you wanted to talk to me so badly, why aren't you hear." They seem to be more frequent these days. Rarely a night goes by when I don't hear from him.
I remember when this all started (almost 2 years ago) and I saw H's cell phone bill with hundreds of tm's to MOW and time spent on the phone with her. Funny....how time has changed. Yes, he could still be with her, but anytime he is TMing me I know he isn't with her.
H was by today. He looked exhausted. When we had talked last night he was. He said he had worked all day and night. He called this morning and asked me if he could come by to see us before he went to work and we went to d12's swim meet.
While he was here, I reminded d12 to brush her teeth. She stated that she did and H chimed in questioning whether she did or not. D12 looked at him and said "Dad you don't live here. You don't know what goes on in this house." I though H was going to lose it. I just sat there speachless. Ouch. That had to sting him.
Anyway, d12 had a great meet today. S15 was there to cheer her on. He actually helped time the meet. He loves that stuff. He is headed out bowling with the boys and d12 and I just baked a cake. She is pooped, so we are staying in tonight.
Tomorrow she has another meet. H told us today he may have to work and miss it but he would be by after. It is so sad that I immediately think he may be lying and going to spend time with MOW, but whatever.
