Small positive steps, what now?

[AliSuddenly]

Kalni,

I think you must be on a down dip of the rollercoaster, but you sound so sad, so you must still care for him? But he is testing you to the limits. Can you think about anymore 180s? I just noticed you saying you were reassuring him that the kids are fine in all this...have yuo always protected him in that way? Would he respond if he had more responsibility for their welfare or would that drive him further away? I dont know, it was just a thought to see if theres any more 180s you can do. Seems you are in a bit of a "holding pattern". I dont blame you for feeling that it is unfair, how could he not notice you??? Its no wonder that guy at work has, I bet you are looking good and giving off a powerful vibe, with all your DBing efforts.

As for your friend, we all get innappropriate advice it seems from well meaning friends. This DBing stuff is a deliberate decision that goes against normal human reactions (cry/wail/scream/get mad/cut the legs off their suit trousers etc!). They may advise, but until you're in this sitch, you cant say how you would react.

I wish I had some better advice to help you, but I am on a learning curve myself! I send you a cyberhug instead (((((Kalni)))))

Ali x
________________
Me: 36
H: 34
LT: 9 years
ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07
Own apartment: 26 Jan 08
3 months on