Small positive steps, what now?

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Hi Kalni,

He stopped all legal separation paperwork, he has said he is thinking about recon., he has been calling a lot more than he did, he starts small talk with me very often ...

Look at this in a positive light.

I would never create more connections of any kind with a person I am thinking it is over with. On the contrary.

I sense your frustration - he's so near yet so far.

The last I heard from him in person was that he doesn't feel a thing about me and that our marriage was an awful mistake...

Ouch! But remember not to believe what you hear.

My gut feeling tells me I have to show him (not tell him) that I am ready to move on, really move on this time despite my feelings for him.

The hard part about this is you actually accepting the reality of moving on; that's what I struggle with more than the "acting" and "showing" part; you would need to feel the real and intense pain of this. Right now you feel like getting him by the collar or throwing a bucket of cold water on him so he wakes up and comes to his senses about what he's putting you and the family thru'. True detachment is something most of use cannot achieve. When you truly "give up" you will probably not want him back tho' he may want to come back. That's the irony of this mess we're in. He is already getting the message loud and clear from everything you have said and done. Sadly what you or I consider to be "love" the WAS does not. Find ways to detach lovingly. Remember its not over until its over. One other thing I second what Lan says about the guy at your work; you are so vulnerable at this time; so stick with close family and true friends.