Meredith - your 5 years..

[cagzmom]

Meredith,

I just read your post that had your "synopsis" of your 5 year plan. And I would love to hear more and pick your brain.

I have post all over the board and in my heart (as jeannette pointed out to me earlier this week) I KNOW what my hearts desire is -- my marriage restored. BUT I also know that it isn't about ME - (in the sense that I can't make anyone change, heal or otherwise.) What I have learned is that I have to make MY LIFE about me.

Something you said in your post hit me over the head. When you said "Everyone said I was the strong one...." When this all started 12/06 I of course talked to people who had/have known us for a very long time....there was not one person who thought my H left --- they thought I HAD GOTTEN sick of him and they said "You are the strong one.." Time and time again over this past year that is what I have heard. What is so funny is that I didn't see myself as strong. But I am beginning to.

I have been praying much about God leading me YES leading ME to file or not. AND I dont have peace either way so what I have learned in this journey is IF YOU DONT HAVE PEACE dont do anything. Reading your post reinforced that. It was something you said about being "Calm" and what I have always done in the past was try and get a "REACTION" out of my h. Right now - today it would be to say "SEE" or just try and get him to wake up...of which I KNOW I CANT.

So --- could we open this up for a question and answer thread? Sorry i jsut didn't know how else to do this... =)