Actually I have had 2 of my three sessions with a DB coach already. I found that it is very beneficial to have them just before we go to MC. That way I have a plan going in.
While MC is good, I like the fact that my coach is giving me specific things to do. It is action oriented and that is awesome!
I have also gotten a lot from the Bob Steinkamp books because they talk about what it takes to stand for your M and how it WILL work. I know that the religious approach isn't for everyone, and I haven't always been real accepting of organized religion, but I am feeling much more connected to church and God these days. My W still doesn't talk to me in a nice way, but at least she is talking to me and I guarantee she is noticing the things I have been doing.
Don't let your H get on your last nerve. When you feel him getting there and you want to give him a good chewing out, just count to 10 and think that the only thing you can control is yourself and that you need to let him make his own decisions no matter what they are. That has been a tough one for me. I will be the first to admit that part of my problem was that I treated my wife like she was one of the kids. I have been working really hard to let her do stuff without me always putting my 2 cents in.
I have to tell you that I really miss my wife, and I love her as much now as I ever did. I think that is what keeps me going. I know that I have to look weeks, and months into the future for the outcome of this sitch instead of to today or tomorrow. I have been getting better at being patient. Unfortunately when you are 10 and 12 years old it isn't quite as easy. I really feel bad for my kids, but I do my best to reassure them and continue my efforts to get their mom back home.
Have a terrific day my Irish friend. I think you are doing amazing things!
-Bryan
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
