qoe100: It's raining men, Hallelujah ???? or is it "It's Raining Men in Fallujah!"? Thanks! confession is good for the soul. :o)
What do you guys suggest about confronting W. about the 5K for daughter to visit Vietnam? I'm sure it's on MY dime, while she continues to put away money in about 10 hidden accounts. If we can afford 5K for this, after 9K a month for D17 to get away from W, why can't I put about 2K/month away?
(When I was a kid, people paid to STAY OUT of Vietnam!)
It's like this...her money is her money and your money is her money...unless of course you turn it back into your money and then you get to decide.
You seriously need some legal advice because you NEED cash and her recent "Hi" is not indicitive of her working on your needs. You focus on what you need and if she's willing to fork over half your combined wad of cash and pay half of your daughter's trip then fine. That's just me...I try to play fair but I don't think she's going to if this gets rough. Get help.
I recommend that the common bills be divided in a ratio against earning (50/50, 60/40, etc.) and that you then have control of the amount left over. Just a suggestion. Also, you need to find out how much is squiralled away somehoe. Again, get help.
FLTC, First, does W work? Also, do you know what your monthly bills actually are to maintain the household? Are you still paying the 9K for D? Will this end anytime soon if you are still paying it?
As for what your W has squirreled away. I don't know the exact "legal" terms but your A can hire an auditor to see where she has/had money. Any activity in her accts will be audited 5 yrs in the past. This will be expensive but it's something you may have to do. All the more reason for you to be squirreling away money now. NH, is right, you need to see an A ASAP.
Also, I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to tell D that, under the circumstances, you can't afford to send her to Vietnam, right now. After all, you've been paying the 9K per month to keep her safe and away from W, right?
FLTC At 52 when you take care of your looks you have an edge. When you get back look at our generation. A real look. If your W gives you the heave ho you will need a Bradley to escape the throngs of ladies hitting on you. Since I am poor and compete with mud fences for looks I need a 50s style bike with balloon tires and a little horn. (gotta get on ebay)
Check out AG's thread
Quote:
He started doing high altitude hiking in the Himalayas when he was 63. His last trip before he passed away was following the Silk Route. He saw the Bamini Buddhas in Afganistan before the Taliban destroyed them. He also travelled on buses and on the backs of trucks.
From this lady's linage most military personnel would probably be considered dull. I always packed heat and had 4 or 6 Marines depending traveling with squads or teams. He gave a hint of the Taliban. Security was abound probably like Afganastan has never seen but the price certainly was high. Our Western ideals though seems kindler and gentler also carries a high price. I noticed this when working with Iraqi National Guard.
How do you explain this to the average American who only sees the world through CNN, FOX, and seaside resourts on the Gold Coast of Mexico?
If your marriage stays GREAT. You Won. If you share my fate start looking at another passion. Hang out with types like AG or others. Not so much for a life partner but buddies sharing adventure. You will need a spark. Until I started lifeguarding it was like trying to burn driftwood while still in the water. You will stay in top condition so you can do fun things. Pushups are not just for breakfast anymore you know.
I'd love to see Vietnam. If LBJ did another 4 years we would have but we probably not loved it. My lifeguards look at me funny when I play Country Joe and the Fish's song from Woodstock. (you got that 8 track?) I cannot advise on anything past that. Others are better.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
IS D17 going to Thailand AND Vietnam? What is the service organization if I am not being rude to ask? Is this through the school she has been going to? Can you talk to the staff there and try to get more information? Two weeks is rather short notice to ask you for the money. A trip like that would have been planned ages ago it seems. Seems like there would be community service projects closer to home.
Also, did you hear about the need for the money from D17, not your wife? That seems inappropriate. I would certainly increse your savings---next pay day! For awhile every time my H would take cash out of our joint account I took an equal amount (of course he did it in $200 increments, not 5K!) (we still keep our joint account checkbook where both of us have access to it).
I wonder how your wife would react if you requested copies of the bank statements for the past 3 months (start small). Actually having a copy of the check register is what you really need so you'll know where the money went. That may be as important as knowing how much.
I actually would like to go to Vietnam, too. Can you send money for a ticket for me???
It's like this...her money is her money and your money is her money...
That is the way I always thought it should be!!! Of course, a splurge for me was going out for lunch or buying myself a $4 bunch of flowers so my H was always safe.
Yes, she's going to VN and Thailand! I heard about the Vietnam trip from D17 yesterday when I called. No mention from W.
I'm thinking about putting it out here in another email to her, just like the last one where I just TOLD her, I was putting money away. D17 cannot be near W. because of their volatile R. AND D17 being out of control, so it seems like W. is sending her off until school can start in the fall. There's easier and less expensive ways. Unfortunately, I handed over all of my incvome for 22 years to W. She did a great job managing our income, and why would I get involved....we were maried, right? WHAT COULD GO WRONG! Financially, I'm an idiot. I have a lot of other abilites, but not that one.
Opinions on another email? I don't really care anymore about pushing her over any edge. She's either there or not. It's NOW about me and my kids, and if I have to go back to a garage apartment, I won't be good to ANYONE! I've already called and applied for an apratment about 10 minutes from our house, but once again, why do guys usually move out when women want out (IN MY CASE AND A FEW OTHERS???) Is it because we don't want to naplam the earth????
why do guys usually move out when women want out (IN MY CASE AND A FEW OTHERS???) Is it because we don't want to naplam the earth????
I'm one of those staying in the house so I probably shouldn't answer.....however, it's my H that decided to leave. I think more women stay in the house if they are the custodial parent. I don't believe the wife should always be the custodial parent. In your case your wife does not seem like the most stable parent. I would think you could have a strong case for "keeping the kids", but I know you are thinking what would be best for them. What do you think they would want to do?
If you are not still spending the 9K for school you should consider putting that directly into your account! You and your wife have managed without it all year.....better to save it now and not get used to having it to spend!
Pushups are not just for breakfast anymore you know.