Hi Lan, is it morning where you are? (just wondering)
I just had a long conversation with a friend who kept telling me that I put myself in a waiting mode and that he never said I should wait for him. I agree and disagree at the same time.
He stopped all legal separation paperwork, he has said he is thinking about recon., he has been calling a lot more than he did, he starts small talk with me very often (he called recently to share with me the last 2 things he experienced for the first time in his life in this last trip he had). He even suggested to take his car insurance and give it to my first cousin to insure it (it is her job). I would never create more connections of any kind with a person I am thinking it is over with. On the contrary. It is definitely obvious he is not completely detached, but it is obvious he doesn't feel in his heart there is a reason to try in our M again. I know 2,5 close to 3 months of separation have actually brought us closer than further appart but I do not know how much longer I can take this. He hasn't initiated a conersation about us until now. Never. The last I heard from him in person was that he doesn't feel a thing about me and that our marriage was an awful mistake...
My gut feeling tells me I have to show him (not tell him) that I am ready to move on, really move on this time despite my feelings for him. I just don't know how to do that. He is taking his time enjoying the fact I haven't been pushing him AT ALL (except a couple of text msgs where I said I miss him and the calendar I sent him which he loved) but that is all. I even reassure him about how well our kids are coping with all this mess (true but mainly beacuse of my efforts). I don't even call him more than twice a month. And that's different to my usual behaviour.
But he knows I am in our home, taking care of our children the best way I know, I am there for him anytime he will need my help and that's it. I am not sure he realises how close I am to give up because I have made it clear so many times in the past I am here for him, having faith in our "bond". So he enjoys the luxury of time (and probably not all he is enjoying right now) but hasn't got anything pushing him to finally make a decision about ous. It's like what everybody says having the cake and eat it.
Any suggestions on actions that would get the message clear to him are very very welcome. I think I am on day away from filing my self for D. Maybe THAT would get him going.
Kalni
PS He is my H and I do love him, but I have never met a man acting the way he is (reading the threads here, sounds like some of us were really lucky with our choices, or just to blind to see). Maybe my C is right. Maybe he is no good for me.
