Mopsey, I understand how you feel about your h doing things for you, i.e., the motive behind them. I honestly don't think that there is much of a motive here. He's got a lot of guilt and shame for what he's done and I suspect that these two things are driving his bus right now. He definitely feels guilt for what he's done, and maybe he feels that if he does things for you, it just might alleviate some of his guilt. No one really knows or understands why they do the things they do. My advice--accept those acts of kindness and do not try to over analyze them. Accept him as he is today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Actually he is a work in progress. You can't see any improvements because you are entirely too close to the situation. The old saying "a watched pot never boils" is so correct when dealing with such individuals. When you take your focus off of him completely, accept him for who he is right now, the changes will become more evident to you. But, as long as you are analyzing everything he says or does, you'll never see them.
Mopsey, live your life to the fullest, each and every day is a gift. Allow tomorrow to take care of itself.
Enjoy the weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
