Reclaiming myself and my life, part 2

[Astimegoeson]

I agree. It's hard to get past the hurt and anxiety. But I'm tired of it. I have a lot of hope that she can keep herself out of any 'relations' with other men for a couple months. That would be helpful for me.

Slowly I'm getting there.

Frank,

That anger and sense of abandonment was the hardest part of this whole process for me to deal with initially. I felt the urge to knock her rebellious arse over the head with a club and drag her back into my cave by her hair. There was no way I was going to let a rival take away what was rightfully mine. Those good ol days are gone, so I had to come up with an alternative. Society gave them free choice.

I came to the realization that maybe I could be happy in my cave without her. I've been experimenting over the last couple of years in doing just that and I can report to you that I'm doing just fine in my cave on my own. I think its all in our ability to do that if we can just leave that caveman mentality to the curb. Anger, jealousy, and possessiveness is a primeval instinct and a strong one we need to learn to control. We are not entitled to ANYTHING in life. Including life it's self. As easy as it comes, it can go. We need to learn to appreciate what's at our feet in the moment realizing it could be gone or replaced in the next. We cling so desperately to what we've acquired thinking we deserve it, we earned it. We start looking at life as if there were a scarcity of things that make us happy. We do anything to hold on to it, because there is no substitute for it. If we learn to look at life as if there is an abundance and it's ours for the taking, loss wouldn't make us so unhappy. We can simply let go and look a head to the next treasure we dig up. It's out there all around us. It won't matter in the end because we are not going to take anything in this world with us when we are gone. Our best hope is to leave
some goodwill behind.

My anger has dissipated because I'm learning to live in the moment and enjoy what is in front of me at the time. It took me a while to understand and recognize the truth in this principle. It has calmed the hurt and anxiety in me.