Worried I found DB too late

[cw68]

On July 23, 2007 husband surprised me one night with the whole ILYBNILWY thing, that we were broken and not worth working on. At this point, we had been together over nine years and were just a few weeks' shy of our seventh anniversary. (Seven year itch, eh?) We have a five-year old boy and six-year old girl. At the beginning of January, he said he needed a trial separation. In between these times, I did everything wrong. I told him why he should work on us, that is wasn't right that he never told me anything was wrong, I reminded him of our vows and the particular emphasis I made pre-marriage to the no-divorce thang (especially with kids). I was relentless and it did no good. Two weeks ago, during our second week of separation, I discovered DB and DR.

Is it too late? Also, our situation is so difficult, in terms of instituting the DB methods. We have an apartment and share the house: whomever has custody of the kids stays in the house. When he said he needed a separation he admitted that there was a chance that we could get back together. We both thought this was a good working solution because if we get back together (though he has strong doubts) we have spared the kids from living between two houses and if we do divorce, it's a gradual change for the kids.

So far, we've seen each other most days. He asks me to stay for dinner, we hosted a few friends for the Super Bowl and we talk/text multiple times per day. I'm trying so hard not to cry, not to be depressed, not to talk about R.

But how do I pull away, not pursue him in any way, go a bit "dark" when we have two small children that we don't want to get left in the wake?

After six months of nagging, guilting and pushing, is it too late?

Also, I found out in Nov that he was having an EA (and I do believe him when he said it wasn't physical. Really) and he quickly ended it. I also sent her an email to make sure that she knew we had agreed it was best that he stop contacting her so that we could work on our relationship without distractions. Watch our for your cute dental hygienists, everyone.