For nearly 8 months now, since that horrible day I discovered that the love of my life was untrue, and that my dark life was even worse than I could ever imagine, I have tried to be as accommodating and diplomatic as I can be given the outrageousness of the situation. I have made a good faith effort to do whatever necessary to help us all though this, and I also made a lot of mistakes too.
I tried being a friend. I tried doing things for her. I tried going dark. I tried complementing her. I tried ignoring her. I tried taking all the blame. I tried standing my ground. I tried agreeing with her. I tried defending my position. I tried making the peace. I tried stirring the pot.
Nothing worked. "Baby steps" in this case meant maybe a slowing of her pace away from me, but never reversing it. But even then, it was always short-lived. She always re-plots her course and keeps on towards her goal. I have never known her to be quite this tenacious.
She at first blamed our difficulties on how she claims I treated her. But then, once I was no longer trying to actively defend the M, she changed the blame to be based on how I treated our S's. Suddenly I went from defending myself from accusations of being a bad husband, to defending myself from being called a bad father.
And she claims I have been lying about her being involved with the OM. That she and he are "just good friends" and co-workers. Nothing more. Instead she says that there is no adultery and that all the problems in our M rest with me.
Well, I hired a PI. Earlier this week I found out my W had set up reservations in her name, for tonight and tomorrow night, in a fancy downtown hotel. After I met her to get the kids, the PI tailed her to the hotel and got enough evidence on her and the OM that I can now say I have zero trust of this woman from now on.
I cannot trust anything she says anymore. She lies to my face and acts like she's as clean as the wind-driven snow. And while I am tending our children (though she claims I am a bad father), she's having an adulterous rendezvous with the "friend" she has denied being involved with, even emotionally.
Why the pretense? Why lie? It's bad enough as it is, but why insult my intelligence too?
