It is really hard to know if you are being paranoid or sensing something real. I struggled with what you are going through for months. And sometimes I felt fatalistic and that the marriage was doomed because I could not get over the repercussions of the affair. While he was involved with OW I was in fighting mode, so I wasn't depressed. But afterwards, when we dealt with the day to day struggles of life, I felt the depression. Retrouvaille helped us tremendously because it forced us to open up and talk to each other. (And taught us HOW to talk to each other.) Without that I don't know if we would have been successful at reconciling. We both wrote our feelings about our lives in our notebooks at the weekend. While he was off at work in the critical weeks afterward, I would pull out the notebooks and re-read them. What I said; what he said. How many times he signed his letters love. When he started signing them love, etc. I was grasping at straws to ward off the memories of what I knew he had said to her. It was hard Joie. I won't deny it. You need reassurance that he is with you to stay.
