Brit,
It's funny, I'm going to give you the exact same advice I just gave bhopeful...just be her friend.
Right now what she needs is a friend. All good R's start this way so enjoy this time rebuilding your friendship.

You know your W better than anyone...if pulling back would have a negative affect don't do it. You know your W.

Enjoy your dinner!
J~

M 35
H 29
M 4 yrs T 9 yrs
D 3
S born 10/19/07
Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day
OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08
Status - still figuring this out