Rebalance my life........... focus my energy more on what I really need to do and want to do; take more time out for me, put me first instead of last
Working........... I work on Saturday because that is part of my second job. I work on Sunday to make extra money and if the gym has a birthday party scheduled that I have to run. I coach private lessons on Sunday mornings for extra money (cash payments.) They pay for D's $230 a month tuition at the gym. During Feb, March and April I will make around $600 cash each month after paying her tuition- just from private lessons. I'm in high demand during this time- word gets out that I rock and girls want to make Varsity cheer and they need to know how to flip so they come to me. 98% of girls who do private tumble lessons with me make the HS squad the first time around. IT's sort of like my hobby, and it tends to give me a boost of confidence - plus a boost to the wallet. I already have 20 private lessons booked for February- and 10 into March.
Provoking me..........yup- he's doing it on purpose. He said he did it in the past and he's doing it again.
Yes he understands what I expect- he just thinks my expectations are too high and therefore does things how he wants to and then thinks he still did it to help me.
Number 1 thing????? H can really and truely show respect and consideration toward me and the kids.
you betcha I"m frustrated.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
Sox, That's great to have a hobby that you get paid for.
I'm glad to hear you're being intentional about rebalancing, and not being overly focused on taking care of other's needs, to the detriment of your own.
I think as you get stronger, you will be in a better position to deal with H. For now, I think he assumes it's "status quo" at home.
Tell us your desires. What do you want to do with your time and life. How would you like to spend the time you're going to spending on you?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I am planning on going back to school for my PhD. in school Administration. That's next summer. I just finished my masters and will take this year off.
I want to go to the movies- get a manicure (it's a long time) and go to the salon (long overdue).
I'd love to scrapbook but it seems like I'd have to get a hotel room to get anything done. (which I may just do)
I think H does think it's status quo. Unfortunately, status quo doesn't cut it for me anymore
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
Wow! Someone that has been at this as long as me. I need your words of wisdom. Its been 1 yr 9 mos. Your right a roller coaster from hell. How did you get to the point that your H came home? What made him want to come back after all that time? My H is no closer. I told him today that he comes home or lets me go cause, Im done.
Your advice?
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
Honestly? I think my H came home because he ran out of money and decided "what the hell".
We're actually going on 3 years. I changed my screen name when I thought H would be joining me for KLA. My original register date is 11/12/05. H moved out July 05.
My advice? Don't make promises you can't or won't keep. If H doesn't move home (did you give him a time frame???) Then you will have to follow through. Are you willing to file D papers? Are you willing to start? If not, then H will see that and will take advantage of it.
Second- stop worrying about H. Get a life without him, with or without the D papers.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
Sox, I'm sorry about your sitch right now, I know how it feels to wonder if they are home because they really want to be with us or if they are in fact just out of money. To be honest with you, it doesn't matter why they are there, we half to decide whether or not we want them there and go on with life. If you decide you don't want him there it doesn't matter why he is there, it will not work. If you decide you want him there don't second guess yourself on why he is there and just take life one day at a time. Just my opinion.
The ride is over. M 38 WAW 39 08/06 out to give WAW space Bomb 10/06 Back Home 2/07 New Bomb 4/17/07 WAW out 06/07 Trying again 09/07 Another Bomb 11/23/07 WAW moved back home 12/14/07 WAW moved back out 2/2/08 D 12 S 9
He said yes, he even had roommates lined up to help him with his rent at the other place.
He's working now, so it's better. Just waiting on a paycheck. He'll get 3 1/2 weeks of pay on one check due to when he started.
I'm going to propose that he write me a check for half of his check every paycheck to pay back what I spent bailing him out (we're close to 5,000 now). He can have the other half for whatever- gas, starbucks, his phone bill... Or I may just ask him for $200 a paycheck- that way he has to at least work enough days subbing to cover the 200 plus any that he will need for the month to cover his phone bill.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
