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LL44 #1351237 02/08/08 07:24 PM
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What we want for ourselves and what's best for us are sometimes two different things....

Ohio_Mark #1351246 02/08/08 07:29 PM
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I think in this case, you are correct......

LL44 #1351265 02/08/08 07:42 PM
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Mark, you are so right.

lwb- I just get so mad about this. You of all people should be getting what you want. You've been the only one that's been truly on the straight & narrow on this. Didn't OW's H even say he was going to start dating at one point.

I'm sorry your H was an a$$ again last night. I'm glad you talked it out. I'm still up for coming down there and kicking his a$$ for you! Just let me know.

Oh, and I hear ya on being on the teeter totter of feeling level & then out of your mind. One tiny thing can enter my mind and I feel like I can't deal with life at all anymore.

Take care sweetie. Hugs to you.

love- Sue


ME: 42, H: 42, D6
Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs.
Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009
Status: Working on it day by day
SueS #1351267 02/08/08 07:44 PM
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He did start dating, Sue. I have been the only faithful one.

LL44 #1351329 02/08/08 08:26 PM
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LWB,
I understand exactly what you are saying about things seeming unfair. It seems the WAS cause so much pain, but they don't seem to suffer the consequences as the LBS do.

Read the quote I received in an email today and posted on my thread. It gives us hope...




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


LL44 #1351332 02/08/08 08:30 PM
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hey lwb,

yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? why others, why not us? why are we the ones sitting in the sh!t while everyone else gets to choose?

but then again, we do get to choose...well, maybe we don't get our first choice, but the rest is ours for the taking, right?

okay, babbling here and probably not making much sense. hope you are doing okay.


M-41
H-38
M-10 years, T-14 years
Bomb-PA 3/19/07
Separated-6/7/07
Piecing/h back home 5/08
S-6
S-4
D-4

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

-Mary Anne Radmacher
LL44 #1351339 02/08/08 08:35 PM
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Sally,
You are not babbling...Unfortunately, we all understand, don't we?




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


SallyM #1351372 02/08/08 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted By: SallyM
hey lwb,

yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? why others, why not us? why are we the ones sitting in the sh!t while everyone else gets to choose?

but then again, we do get to choose...well, maybe we don't get our first choice, but the rest is ours for the taking, right?

okay, babbling here and probably not making much sense. hope you are doing okay.


Makes perfect sense Sally!


ME: 42, H: 42, D6
Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs.
Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009
Status: Working on it day by day
LL44 #1351962 02/09/08 02:15 PM
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And the drama continues.......

H went out last night (nothing new). He calls my cell at 1:30am (I reamed him for waking me up for HIS mess). He told me OW showed up at the bar he was at, tried to talk to him. When he ignored her, she flirted (and kissed) with tons of other guys. She also told one of H's friends that she is a single mom. This after OW's H tells me they are working on their marriage....

H...wait for it....took cell phone pictures of it for OW's H. He wanted OW's H cell phone number to send them to him. I refused, saying he has had nothing but anger for him (my H has irrational anger towards OW's H). H claims he just wants to show him what happened, since I told him they were working on the M. I am not stupid, my H is trying to hurt OW by doing this.

H was surprised I wasn't more "game" to the idea, since it would hurt OW, saying "She was part of the destruction of our M". I agreed, but said it wasn't my mess anymore, and its not about OW. This is the first time he claims his A was a part of our downfall (usually blames our problems before the A). He is doing this out of hurt and anger, once again. Trying to 'play' me to call OW's H.

Here is what I have decided to do (tell me if you think its wrong). I called and left OW's H a voicemail asking him to call when he gets a chance. I am going to tell him what H told me, saying obviously I wasn't there, so I don't know the real truth. I will offer to either 1) give H his cell phone # (if he approves) or 2) have H forward me the pictures and then I'll forward them on to him, if he wants them.

H only asked for the number one time, said he totally understands why I won't give it to him and was fine with the decision I made. OW called H's cell phone all through the night. She knows the pictures were taken, so I am sure she has spun her story for her H. This makes me mad because I am in the position to tell OW's H the truth, which is what he did for me all summer, and I am still grateful. But, I always feel that twinge of guilt for his kids.

Yes, this is my life. Anyone wanna come join me? I could use some sane souls....... \:\)

LL44 #1351967 02/09/08 02:27 PM
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Sanity? Can't help you there.

Sorry....

Seriously, you did absolutely the right thing. Stay out of the mess. Distance yourself from these people. Live above it all.

You did the right thing.


Me: 48
Divorce final May 2010
B: 19
B: 15
G: 9


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