I'll provide a more disturbing perspective. My W was in a similar boat, in MLC for months, made contact with an old old boyfriend. For awhile claimed it was just her fantasy escape, had never seen him, etc. Then I became aware of a conversation (not going to reveal how that happened) between them where she outright lied that I had made an appointment to get a divorce (totally no basis in reality) and it wouldn't be long before they could be together. So they started comparing schedules to make a tryst based on her lie, and she ended by telling him she loved him. A few days later she started staying out until all hours, almost flaunting it. ALL THIS HAPPENED VERY QUICKLY OVER THE SPAN OF A FEW SHORT WEEKS!!!! It was like a dam hd broken and they become like horny teenagers who couldn't control their lust and ultimately had to consumate their relationship as quickly as possible. You aren't going to stop it if it goes this way. If you try to confront her I do think you will push her even more quickly into the arms of the OM. Just understand that ultimately she is an adult and will do what she wants to do, you can't stop it, you can't controll it, and you aren't in any way to blame for it. Doesn't make it much easier but you will at least be able to look at yourself in the mirror each day. Good luck!
