I think maybe I need to be a little selfish for a change, and do this just for me alone, without any expectations that it will effect the R.
That isn't selfish. It's self preservation. You DB for you. Your expectations, both good AND bad make this journey a crappy one when those expectations are not meet, or in the case of the bad ones are. If you get too hopeful and something doesn't happen you get hurt. If you get depressed about a bad expectation you get bitter and sour in your daily life. In regard to your H...live moment to moment without expecting anything from him.
Going to grad school will open up new opportunities for new friendships, a great way to GAL.
About angry exchanges... If you find yourself getting mad...stop talking.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
