All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[cat03]

ditto the above.
You MUST realize you are NOT in control and that you are not supposed to be, it's all out of your hands. We set up plans of how things should work, how he should respond to xyz and then get discouraged when they don't.

If he's depending on you about how to act and vice versa that's a vicious circle. If I were to depend on my H's moodiness/closeness/aloofness I'd be a nervous wreck. Your H has shown that he is somewhat depressed and unsure of himself, unhook yourself from his rollercoaster, you can't wonder each time he distances himself "what did I do wrong?" you'll grow old in no time.
Do what your gut says, if he act a certain way doesnt' necesarily mean it is about you or R related.