Oh, John. This is huge. I am so happy for you. Hang in there and let God guide you. You are doing the right things. Be stong for her. Have you mentioned getting counseling? If you go to counseling, make sure the counselor is one who believes in marriage restoration and finding solutions. My H and I went to a very bad counselor who pronounced our M dead and my H believed her. Beware of BAD counselors, but a Christian counselor might be the ticket.
On the way to work, I was praying for all of us and hit a trash can that was in the road. It made a very loud sound and definately got my attention!
The Lord is good. He will keep His promises. You and your wife are in a covenant with God. He is on you side and wants your M to stay together.
Thanks for he kind words guys.... I was ready for a major pullback this morning but happily did not get it. In fact, she came into my room to get D7's clothes for the day and came over to the bed for a morning hug. Needless to say that starts off the day nicely. I had to leave early so we did not really spend too much time together. The time we did have was cordial. She asked my opinion on some work related issues. Also caught her being slightly negative and pointed it out to her. She laughed and said her positive attitude was rubbing off on me. I have to admit that she always had a PMA compared to most (especially me). I showered her with plenty of compliments regarding her looks. She always downplays my compliments (yeah right you're only saying that yata yat yata), but they come from my heart and I will continue to do so because I believe that is her LL.
Last night was fine (watched tv with W). Chatted about nothing in particular / almost like old times. Notice a definate change in seating arrangements on the couch as well as some touchy feely stuff. Like I said nothing major but a noticeable change. Hope this continues today. No pullback yet.
Hey John. Congrats on the recent successes. Not to rain on your parade, but prepare yourself in case she decides to pull back. She hasn't made a commitment yet, correct? I wasn't prepared when it happened to me and I was pretty devastated.
Maybe you'll get lucky and it won't happen. Here's wishing you easy sailing from here on out. -B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
... make sure the counselor is one who believes in marriage restoration and finding solutions. My H and I went to a very bad counselor who pronounced our M dead and my H believed her. Beware of BAD counselors, but a Christian counselor might be the ticket.
Good point! I had the exact thing happen to me and it made me wary of these people. Its like going to a doctor that will give you up for dead. There are a LOT of "counselors" and more bad ones than good. And even among the good ones very few focus on saving the marriage.
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
No pullback yet, however, I don't really feel like I am making any real progress as you put it Gumba. BH, no committment whatsoever....just a change in her mood and something in her eyes...little hugs etc. Honestly I don't think she will go back to 5 months ago (she went bunkers) but I don't know if it will get back to pre bomb days either. I am at peace with myself if this goes either way. You all know my preference but I am at a better place.
1) I was talking about the kitchen table and more specifically a stain on it and she said it's ok, I will keep it anyway.
2) We spoke about her work last night and she said "what am I going to do when you are not there anymore?"
I answered maybe you won't have to worry about that (ie. maybe I will be there). She rolled her eyes, sighed and changed the subject.
On the positive side she said that I should be her VP marketing and that I am the only person she listens to. I said she can't afford me.....free consultations are fine for now.
