You know Short, I never did seek help regarding my childhood and the fact that I am so broken definitely help lead to the demise of my marriage. Do I think that I deserve having my h have an affair and destroy our finances? absolutely not!
I always find what you have to say so on the money. I remember so well thinking if I am a good girl today, maybe my Mom wont drink and then always being disappointed. And I took on the roll of caretaker for her and my younger sister. I kept in that roll all their lives. My mom has passed away, but I still do it with my sister.
But the difference in me is that I didnt do it in my marriage. I let my h be my caretaker. I allowed him to do everything. Now, he has to have things done a certain way so that is a role his is comfortable with. But then, I just gave up. I became extremely depressed and checked out. I wonder what makes some ACOA carry the caretaker role into their marriages and others dont. Just trying to figure it all out. Thankfully, I have a wonderful C who is guiding me.
