There was more. But basically her positions are these:
We're toxic together. She has tried to love me but I won't let her. When I say that I have had a lot of pressure and haven't felt safe with her because I feel like I have to keep giving to keep her happy she says that I'm always trying to please her and she needed me to let her love me and be loved back. When I explained that I need her to stop withdrawing when I'm feeling alone she says that 'nobody' can get through the wall I put up.
When I talk about the past situations where I'm overwhelmed with life and pressure and I need her support she goes back and says she tried, but I push her away or don't 'let her in'.
Finally, she said she doesn't want a relationship with anybody right now, just herself. She said that she started to realize that her 'text message' friend was moving in the wrong direction and is 'taking care of that'.
Bottom line with her is "Frank won't let me love him and doesn't return the love in the 'deep way' that she has loved me." Whenever we're together we're toxic for each other. When I tell her that I have a lot of trust issues because of things she has not done to make me feel the 'love' she says it's because I won't let myself feel the love.
As far as me, I haven't felt like I can trust her because I've always felt like I have to take care of her feelings and since she has abaondoned me 4 times now when things are not going the way she thinks they should and she's unhappy long enough. I want to get past that and want us both to be in the same place. Obviously there was a time with her where I did feel the love from her. It's the times when it's been overwhelming in life and where she doesn't come through when I need her to that I feel alone.
She sees use together as never happening. She's happier when she's not in the house, or the marriage.
She wants to tell the kids now and get moving with a separation.
I just am tired of the fight. Not sure what to do now.
