I agree since it is a joint return it should be split jointly. If he were still here though it would sit and be used for a new heating/ac heat pump that the house needs but since we may be selling at some point sooner or later I don't want to make that investment right now. I so much want to take the kids away and do something fun for them and with them though. They deserve that in the midst of all this chaos. His outlook is if I do that then he should be bale to do what he wants with the money too which I don't completely agree with because if it weren't for him leaving and making us suffer emotionally I wouldn't be wanting to take the kids anywhere for fun and distraction and spend any of that money either. Oh such a rock and a hard place. I know with his half of the money he WILL spend it unwisely and then sure as history always repeats itself we will need that money for a bill or mortgage. I just don't get his desire to spend it on a bike, I mean he returned voluntarily a toolbox to the tool guy that he still owed $4k on that we couldn't afford the monthly payments on anymore then in 2 weeks time wants to use income tax money to buy a $2100 bike. What gives? Maybe I should just give him the money as a show of unconditional love????? And express happiness for him when he shows off his new bike he used it for. Giving him the money would show I am NOT trying to control him and hell his family is well aware of our poor financial choices and have always been on him about his spending so wouldn't that just be glorious for him to want to store his new bike in mommy and daddy's shed. Another toy their sweet son couldn't live without. I can picture the looks on his parents faces now...lmao!!!! Of course he could surprise me and not buy a bike at all and hire an attorney and have me served with D papers. Oh the decisions I have to make. Or I could control all the income tax return and say I am holding onto it since the shop has been so dead lately that I need to assure myself I have a couple months worth of mortgage payments to make. But then he WILL deny me access to the bank account for bill paying. I have to think of all possible reactions to my actins that any choice I make could lead to. But if the mortgage can't be paid it will only hurt him since the mortgage is in his name only. I don't believe he wants to totally ruin his credit by having his home foreclosed on. I could pack myself and the kids up quick and move out before the bank even realizes they won't be getting paid. However WE did agree that the kids need the stability of this home and as it is all they know and that taking this away from them after all this would be the straw that broke the camels back for them. He doesn't want to hurt them anymore than he already has that much I do know. Oh my he is so confused right now.
Do you think I should call him and ask him if we could discuss the income tax return and how to use it? I do believe since he has elluded to it before that he just wants to split it without any regard to allowing me a cushion for the mortgage by keeping it all or the majority of it.
Sorry for the book!
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
