Finding my way out of the dark

[mishka422]

Well, so back to square one. I completely lost it with H this afternoon. I had to call him to see if he was putting money in my account since there are bills due tomorrow and are auto-pay. He didn't respond to text so I called him - never would have if it weren't vitally important. I asked if he got my message and he said he did and he was at ATM getting money to put in my account. He put in $350. There are no agreements in place yet (too soon) but he owes $177 just for his portion of the phone bill plus money for S13, plus karate, plus car insurance, plus half of the credit card bills. His response was that he would just come take the new car and take care of that. Excuse me? NOT! He said his lawyer said he only had to pay $500 child support per month. Close, but wrong! That doesn't mean he gets to skip out on the rest of the joint bills just because he's not living in our house anymore. I'm stuck with the utilities, the rent, all the credit cards, all of everything and he thinks that is all he has to do right now. WRONG! Of course this transpired right after 5pm so my lawyer isn't in her office.

I told him all of the above and told him that if he thought that was all he was going to pay he was completely mistaken and that he wasn't going to leave me with all of the bills and his lawyer would hear from my lawyer. I then hung up and fumed for a while and sent him a text giving him a breakdown of the costs per month for the bills we both owe and told him that his selfishness was sickening.

I know - BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!! I couldn't help it! I'm sinking very quickly without his income. Haven't been to the grocery for more than milk and bread in 6 weeks because I had to make sure I could make the rent and utilities.

I'm so p.o'd right now I could spit. I don't dare go home in the mood I'm in because I might blow up in front of my S13 and my mom.

Can anyone say stiff drink? Ok, maybe not, not going to help me at all. I just need lots and lots of prayer and meditation.

Please pray for me all. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. Everything is such a mess.