Journal - This morning my D's school had a two hour delay and since I have no family in the area I had 2 neighbors as backups and both are out of town this week. I have a brand new job - only 3 weeks on the job - I have already had to ask for time off for court on Tuesay, I now have to ask for time off to set appt for court guardian and take D, ask for time off for my D's 7 year checkup, ask for time off for new court date in March. So when I found out about the delay I kind of freaked and felt like what is this going to look like I ask to come in late now. So I called H and left voice mail just wondering if you are in the area and dont have apts (hes a traveling salesman) could you pick D up and drive her to school this am. I was convinced her would never call back and I dont know why I even called him. He did call back and I spoke to him. He said very nicely he would love to help me and do but he cant hes traveling but he wants to help out so he is going to try to leave his schdule free is the weather forecasts smow in case D's school is delayed again. Said thankyou and hung up. Between seeing him in court on TUes and talking to him - this is too much contact for me. I am back sliding - and feel way way down. I feel so depressed today. Almost cried at work. My sister is so lucky. When she got divorced they had no kids so no contact. I would rather have no contact at all then this business like cordial contact if needed for the child - its too painful - reminds how far we are from where we used to be. This D is the most painful experience of my life - I just want peace and I want the pain to end.
