Journal - This morning my D's school had a two hour delay and since I have no family in the area I had 2 neighbors as backups and both are out of town this week. I have a brand new job - only 3 weeks on the job - I have already had to ask for time off for court on Tuesay, I now have to ask for time off to set appt for court guardian and take D, ask for time off for my D's 7 year checkup, ask for time off for new court date in March. So when I found out about the delay I kind of freaked and felt like what is this going to look like I ask to come in late now. So I called H and left voice mail just wondering if you are in the area and dont have apts (hes a traveling salesman) could you pick D up and drive her to school this am. I was convinced her would never call back and I dont know why I even called him. He did call back and I spoke to him. He said very nicely he would love to help me and do but he cant hes traveling but he wants to help out so he is going to try to leave his schdule free is the weather forecasts smow in case D's school is delayed again. Said thankyou and hung up. Between seeing him in court on TUes and talking to him - this is too much contact for me. I am back sliding - and feel way way down. I feel so depressed today. Almost cried at work. My sister is so lucky. When she got divorced they had no kids so no contact. I would rather have no contact at all then this business like cordial contact if needed for the child - its too painful - reminds how far we are from where we used to be. This D is the most painful experience of my life - I just want peace and I want the pain to end.
Oh Ellis. I am sorry. Its not a good day for some of us. What do you like to do? What would you have liked someone to get/buy/do for you? Decide, and do it for yourself.
Hi Ellis, I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I just caught up with your thread. I'm so sorry for all of the pain and hurt that your H has caused you and your DD.
As far as Valentines Day goes. Make it special for you and your DD. Get her something for VD Day. Order pizza, watch a movie, play a game with her. Make it a special day for her. Make it fun for you both, remember it is a day to share with your loved ones and she is the love of your life!
Hugs!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I think Yoyo has a good idea there - Valentine's Day is not just about romance, but it's about the people you love. I will be spending it w/ my D, cuddling on the couch in our jammies watching a movie, eating something not very nutritious but delicious. I'll probably pick up some wine for me and treat myself to a glass (though I do have to work tomorrow). The kids call it "Friendship Day" so maybe call a good friend that you haven't talked to in awhile but are missing. Hey, I think I'll do that myself.
Take care, FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
THanks guys - I took your advice and bought me D some flowers and candy and told her she was my valentine today and always and she loved it. We ended up having a nice night. It did not bother me as much as I thought it would. Had some contact with H. My D was sick with strep and I emailed to let him know and all of a sudden he was really nice and volunteered to come to the house and watch her while I went to work. Well I made sure I looked great and I was very nice and cordial and he came in the house with a ticked off attitude so I called him from work and said why did you offer to help if you were going to act this way. He thinks I am trying to get sole custody of our D and not let him see her - I explained since being in court on 2/5 that my lawyer said that becuase he has not seen his D in a month and has barely showed interest and we can not communicate and that is no way to have joint custody. So he kept telling me to call him the next day but I did not understand why we could not talk right now - so I said ok and when I got home he walked right out the door without even a goodbye. So I did not call him. Then surprisingly he left a message apologizing for his rude behavior and that he wants joint custody and to please call him. I emailed him and said thats fine and thankyou for your message - let me know about set visitation. He just emailed back - call me. Im trying not to read into this but why all of a sudden does he want to talk to me on the phone when we have been strictly emailing? Is he doing this becuase hes afraid I will persue sole custody - why not just express his concerns in an email - why does he want me to call him?
Ellis, I'm glad you enjoyed Valentine's with your D!
Concerning custody, perhaps he's talking to a lawyer who is advising him. If he wants joint custody, it doesn't look good for him if he has not seen his D in a month, and barely showed interest. Emails can be impersonal (at least in this type of sitch)!
I have also read that joint custody is usually not given where the couples are not getting along or can't communicate well. The sitch has to be stable for the kids.
Who knows if that is the reason for the change. Perhaps it is nothing. But if you noticed it, perhaps there is a reason. Why don't you ask him why he has the sudden interest in your D?
