I would suggest that you do something nice for her b-day (I don't know either) and get her a good gift. If I were the one in your shoes, I'd also do something for Valentine's day other than just a card from your D. You aren't in the same ship as everyone else. I think some actions that would be pursuing in other situations is not pursuing in yours. Just my opinion
I was thinking I might send her and her sister to a spa for a day for Valentine's day. I know W is pretty wound up and stressed, so she might enjoy that. I've no clue for birthday... She never really seems to want much right now.
