Confessions of a Supermom - JennyF's 4th thread

[bhopeful]

Hi Jenny.

Good job on standing up for yourself and your children with the financial stuff. I know that must have been hard.

Dropping the rope is analogy for detachment. Make sure that your detaching with love and not hate. This is the father of your children, so even if you don't reconcile you at least need to not hate him. Easier said than done though.

Also, I know that you don't understand how he could have left you and the kids and put you into this situation. I know that it tears you up inside. Do you forgive him though? If you can't forgive him then you can't ever reconcile with him. Not forgiving him will eat you up inside and make your life miserable. Here's an article on forgiveness that I post from time to time: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131
If you can find it within yourself to forgive him, then you just might start to see some improvements at least in your interactions with him.

Please don't think that I'm trying to negate how well you are doing. I'm happy to see the strength that you exhibit. As I read your posts though, I see a lot of hurt and resentment (rightfully so) that will eventually consume you if you can't let them go.

Peace,
B

PS. Forgiveness also helps with dropping the rope. Sometimes you can pull on the rope for the wrong reason (trying to make your spouse feel some of your hurt).