I FOUND THIS FORUM THIS WEEK AND I CAN SAY IT HAS HELPED ME ALOT CONTROLLING MY FEELING AND HELPING ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. I ORDER A COUPLE OF THE BOOKS. ITS JUST HARD TO BELIEVE WHATS GOING ON. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD FAMILY MAN AND BEEN THERE FOR MY FAMILY WHEN THEY NEEDED ME AND NOW MY WHOLE WORLD IS GONE. YES I STILL GOT MY TO KIDS BUT SOMETIMES IT JUST SO HARD TO LOOK AT THEM AND NOT BREAK DOWN. MY PROBLEM IS I AM REALLY KIND HEARTED AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY AND I GUESS THATS MY FAULT. JUST EVERYTIME I SHE LEAVES AFTER DROPING THE KIDS OFF IT'S LIKE MY HEART BREAKS ALL OVER AGAIN. I JUST WANT TO HUG HER HOLD HER IN MY ARMS KISS HER AND TELL HER WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS. WHEN ME AND HER TALK SHE IS A DIFFRENT PERSON BUT WHEN SHE IS AROUND HER FRIENDS ITS LIKE SHE HATES ME.. I DON'T THINK YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE OUR OUT OF LOVE WITH SOMEONE. YOU EITHER LOVE THEM OR DON'T LOVE THEM. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME RUFF TIMES IN ARE M. DURING OUR 7 YRS WE HAVE ONLY LIVED ALONE FOR 3YRS THE OTHER YEARS WE WERE HELPING PEOPLE AND GIVING THEM A PLACE TO STAY. WE HAD TWO LOST TO BABIES DURING PREGNANCEY DEC 23 AND 26TH 2 YRS IN A ROW AND WE HAVE BEEN IN FINANCIAL TROUBLE THE LAST THREE. WE WERE BOTH WORKING TWO JOBS JUST TO TRY TO MAKE ENDS ME AND I THINK IT FINALLY TOOK ITS TOLL. I'M JUST BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING COULD I HAVE DONE THIS OR THAT. SHE GAVE ME HINTS ABOUT WANTING HER TIME TO RELAX BUT IT WAS HARD WHEN WE NEVER GOT TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER. INTAMACY WAS SAT NIGHT AT 10:30 LETS HURRY IM TIRED THAT WAS IT. I WAS UNHAPPY AND I JUST MADE MYSELF BELIEVE THAT IS NORMAL IN A MARRIAGE AND THAT MAYBE I'M PUSHING TO MUCH FOR ONCE A WEEK. I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER AND I KNOW WE CAN BE HAPPY TOGETHER IF WE CAN START OVER AND BE SURE THIS TIME THAT WE TALK ABOUT THINGS INSTEAD OF KEEPING THEM IN. TOLD HER THAT OUR VOWS MENT SOMETHING TO ME AND THAT THIS IS JUST A BUMP IN THE ROAD AND WE CAN FIX IT AND CONTINUE ON WITH OUR LOVE AND HAPPNIESS AND HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER. I DO KNOW SHE IS LOST RIGHT NOW SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. SHE HAS SAID SHE DOESN'T WANT A DIVORCE JUST HER TIME AWAY. IT MIGHT BE MONTHS, YRS OR SEEING ME WITH ANOTHER GIRL. I TOLD HER THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN WE ARE MARRIED EVEN THOUGH SEPERATED AND I WILL NOT MOVE ON WITH ANOTHER GIRL. THAT IS CHEATING AND I RESPECT OUR MARRIAGE NOT TO DO THAT....
