Loving a WAS isn't easy

[mymonkeybug]

Bryan-

I know what you mean with her parking on the street. My H when over to see the kids or do the things around the house he still feels obligated to do like chop wood for the woodstove, fix the washer, etc...won't use OUR bathroom in OUR bedroom anymore but the kids bathroom in the hallway. It's those little things I notice.

Well I am home today also but because both kids have the puking/diarhea bug. They are in my bed watching the Disney Channel right now, Mulan is on. I sent H a tex lastnight when S8 started sick and it took him 45 minutes to respond so I ignored him until he texted again this morning. He asked also how D5 was and me. I thought that great that he asked about me because since he left he hasn't been at all interested and only ever asked about them.

I am at a guilt moment, let me through it out to you and anyone else wanting to chime in. Our income tax return is coming and it is several thousand which will be nice for mortgage help. Well he called me yesterday a.m. to ask if I had done it yet because the shop has been slow and he knows his pay this month will reflect that and how nice it would be to have the income tax to offset for the mortgage and other utilities. Well in almost the same breath he said he wanted to get a new bike. A $2100 mountain bike. Well I said in my nice DB'ing tone how I wish we could right now but that that isn't an option right now. And then I later texted him about if we could and I got one if we could ride together and of course that was pursuing and got me nowhere fast. So anyway, my guilt and dilemna is that I want to tak ethe kdis away for 3-4 days the third week of March when school is out for spring break and of course it will most likely be something so damn fun that they totally forget daddy isn't around and are completely care free. That would of course require spending tax return money and possibly several hundred to a grand. Should I do this and why do I feel so guilty about wanting to spend that money and help give my kids some happiness during all this?

Thanks everyone and you Bryan for your support. We will all get through this one way or another and be so very proud of OURSELVES for how we learned to handle conflict and chaos and show our children the good fight is worth fighting for and marriage isn't disposable.