W not angry any more and wants to work on the M

[Lanzo]

I'm just journaling here.

W and I are back at a point where we were 2 years ago when we decided to work on the M and spend time more time together etc. And for the life of me I couldn't remember how things got away from us so quickly to get us where we were, on the point of D.

Anyway after spending the last evening together, it all came back to me.

Now that things have calmed down between us, W seems to be much more comfortable and relaxed around me so when we sit and watch TV she falls asleep. OK not such a big deal, but when you make plans to watch a special TV program or a movie and she falls asleep, its really annoying. I can remember in the past just leaving her sleeping downstairs while I went to bed in frustration, she wakes up sees I'm not there and then shes frustrated with me. I can also remember the plans we used to make for an "Early Night" we'd snuggle up together in bed and she'd fall asleep even before I could even lift up her nightie. I ended up withdrawing from her which leads to her feeling neglected by me. So in the end we stopped watching movies together, we stopped going to bed at the same time and we just drifted apart.

Anyway the falling asleep happened again last night and all those memories came back to me in an instance. I was quiet this morning and when asked what was wrong I told her I was concerned that we could drift back into old habits end up with the same problems again. W replied well at least we've not fallen out over it, but she did add that she felt really tired.

So Just that little act of her falling asleep has lead to a whole heap of other issues.

Oh I should add that the mitigating circumstances that W has is she has to take lots of Meds for her lung condition and they do make her drowsy esp with a glass of wine. Also in her job she is about and about in the fresh air and always comes home tired. But there are ways and means to stay awake and accommodate your partner if you really want to. I mean the meds didn't stop her straying. But anyway that last bit wasn't my point. It's more that I've identified an underlying, almost hidden issue that affects us and I want to address it rather than hope it just goes away.