Grand Finale

[RMG77739]

I had loved her so very much. I saw so many positive things. Yet, what I so painfully learned was the woman I thought I knew and loved for 15 years was NOT the woman she actually was......

I did say during my separation that xW was a good woman deep down but that she was no longer right for me. But as time goes on I realize that I was accepting to much of the blame. Now I am starting to feel that deep down she was in fact not the woman I thought she was. I need to stop apologizing for her and take her off that pedestal I had her on.

That is not meant to be angry, it is just realizing that the blame is shared and that she did in fact do nothing to save the M when we could have saved it.

Jeff,

I am right there with you. Step back..... Look at my old sitch....

Knew each other for 15 years.....
Married for over 12 years.....
I NEVER had any EAs/PAs....
She never came out and told me we had ANY problems let alone bad ones....
She never asked me to go to counseling....
She finally tells me there are problems and I immediately take her to counseling....
She goes twice to counseling and really only says I want out of M....
She files for D....

Looking at that, in my opinion, she should have clearly let me know there were problems and exactly what they were... If we could not work it out, she should have insisted we go to counseling..... If that did not work after months, that should be the first time you even remotely consider ending the marriage....

Does that make her a bad person? I believe it does. She walked away from a commitment she make to God and me. She also made damn sure she was as mean, nasty and hurtful to me as she walked out the door. I chose to take the higher road and ignore her. If I were gutless as she was, I at least would have had the decency to just walk away instead of attempting to tear the other person down.........

I think once you make a commitment you should stick to it.....

Take Care,

RMG