I had to reassure my H that I didn't read anything into the fact that we had sex (I don't think it was quite so direct, but that was the message). Like you, I sincerely feel awful about the pain and rejection my H suffered through and I really did want to try to heal that for both of us.
During and after sex, I have kept it very light - no ILYs, afterways pulling away first, etc. There have been times lately when my H has been quite tender and affectionate and I respond, but never try to push beyond what he's offering.
I am finding things pretty tough right now and that's one of the reasons I haven't been posting much. Because it seems that he's staying, but hasn't yet said so or made any long-term commitment, I'm feeling a little bit safer and so some of my own feelings are surfacing. However, I know that we are not yet at the point where we can discuss that stuff, so really the only difference is that I'm living with a slightly more affectionate roommate in less than complete crisis mode, with a bunch of feelings I can't do anything with, other than continue to try to ignore.
Is there anything you can do in the days before the weekend to get yourself and H more in the mood? Perhaps you could pick out some lingerie and hang it on the outside of the closet a day or two before, or start reading an erotic novel, so that when the times comes, you can hardly wait, or...
