I went out to eat with H again last night. We had an alright time, we talked on the phone for a while before. He came and picked me up, and when he brought me home he just came in. I figured he would just leave. I didn't ask him to come in because I didn't want to push, but he did it on his own.
I am frustrated with myself right now because I feel this need to take care of H. Why do I feel so responsible for him?? Like yesterday, I really just wanted to go home and relax. I didn't really feel like doing anything. However, I couldn't relax because I was worrying about H. I was worrying about things like him being lonely and having no food.
Then I ask myself, why do I do this?? If he had chosen to work on things instead of moving in with OW then he wouldn't be struggeling so much right now. Why do I want to rescue him? He didn't worry about me when I was all alone with no family or friends and he was off spending all his time with OW. I was having to take care of the house and bills by myself. He didn't feel sorry for me. I just am beginning to wonder if his wanting to work on things comes from the need to be taken care of. Is he using me?
Anyway, just some thoughts going through my mind. I like spending time with him, I just feel stressed because of all his problems right now. Not sure why I feel the need to make his problems my problems.
