All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

HI Seek,

We leave on Saturday, to travel down to the airport, stay in a hotel overnight and have an early flight on Sunday Morning.

I was reading recently about how to create the right ‘environment’ for the WAS to feel comfortable enough to feel ‘safe’ enough to open up enough to want to spend time with you and at some point in the future maybe talk.


Have any of you wiser DB's ever felt ‘unsafe & uncomfortable’ yourself?

I’m not sure if I’m unassertive (if there is such a word!!!), or just in a place where I feel unsafe or uncomfortable, not that we’re talking R talks, but when I look back at the conversations we had via texts at xmas, I realised that I avoided saying things that I felt were valid, because I was/am afraid that H will answer defensively/angrily b/c that is what he has been doing and I don’t want to alienate him even further, but at the same time he thinks everything is worse and harder for him………

I accept responsibility for my wrong doings, but not everything was my fault.

I guess the anger stage is another phase they're going through, but I think the guilt is easier to deal with than anger. Anger frightens me (my dad had a bad temper).

Do they ever get to the point where they start to see that they have a part to play in the breakdown of the R?

X Dis