Confessions of a Supermom - JennyF's 4th thread

[JennyF]

You guys are good for my ego! And good motivation to keep it up.
Thanks.

wheretogofromhere,

I feel stronger and like I can do this just by reading what you write!

WOW! This made me feel really good when I read it, thank you. It means a lot to know that I'm helping you feel strong!
I have been trying to read your thread to catch up on you before I post...I'm getting there. Life is a little hectic!

hopetoworkitout,

You are so very practical and I love it.

I'm a gemini though...I go from this extreme to highly emotional in 10 seconds flat!
And yes, I do endearingly call her CFB ;-)



Well H came over tonight. The weather here is terrible and we are getting dumped on AGAIN with snow. TOO MUCH SNOW! My back aches from shovelling!
I was planning on going out to do some shopping when H took the kids for a few hours tonight. He called and said that if I was going out, why didn't he just stay here with the kids? I said ok.
Then when I was about to leave I changed my mind. I REALLY wanted to go out, but it wasn't anything necessary and the roads are so bad that I really shouldn't have been driving if I didn't have to. So H said he didn't care if I stayed.
I stayed out of their way. I fed S and then passed him off. I spent an hour on the computer and then went outside and shovelled (it already needs to be done again). I basically just left him with the kids.
He mentioned a couple things to me tonight.
First of all he mentioned that he didn't know I was going have a BIG party for D last weekend. I said it wasn't big. He said, I thought you were only going to invite your parent's and so and so. I said, yeah...then I decided to invite more. And I don't get to see those other people oftem so I asked them to come and they did.
2 of the couples that came are kind of considered "his friends". But after 9 years together they're OUR friends. Anyway, he said he was going to invite them next weekend to the little party that HE is having for D. I just said I didn't know that.
He didn't make a fuss about it...but you could just tell he was acknowledging it for a reason.

2 other things he did tonight...asked how he should go about taking his name off the household bills and he gave me my car key back (Brit...that didn't take long huh?), then asked for his truck keys. Oh well.
The thing about the bills is odd...it's like he's totally rushing to put all of these things in place to prove it's OVER. Taking his name off the bills after 4 months?? Like that's something that is necessary immediately.
I think he was looking for something to say. I really think he is looking for ways to show me that it is over and that is why he is moving so fast.

Anyway...I just spent FAR too much time talking about H!

If I can dig myself out of the snowbank that is now my house tomorrow, I will be taking D to school in the morning. Tomorrow is her birthday!!! My little girl is 3!!!
Then I have a phone call with my lawyer to discuss the informal separation agreement that H and I came up with. And I have to discuss H's request for me to buy him out of the house. It's not going to happen any time soon.
This could be the one thing that will send him over the edge mad at me. I've been so generous with him through this whole thing. He can barely say anything bad about me except maybe that I've been sad (duh?).
Not selling or buying him out is the one thing that I won't waiver on and it is going really make him mad. But that's ok. It makes detaching easier.
I feel so good about knowing that I am making the right decision for me and my kids. It is not in his favour and he's going to try to turn all around on me.
But I'm building confidence!! And the lawyer will help me with that...

Ok I've babbled enough.
J~