Finding my way out of the dark

[missmyfriend]

Mishka, I went through the same thing wondering if the 21 years with my best friend had been a lie the whole time. Was she really this other person? The answer is yes and no. She is a different person right now but she was that wonderful person before. She was that loving, caring and self sacrificing best friend and love I knew. She came to not trust that was her and has tried to redefine herself.

My point is that the H you knew was real but, in a way, so is this one. It doesn't mean that he will stay this kind of person forever. He needs love and patience now more than ever. It is easy to love our spouse when they are lovable. It is easy to be patient with them when they demonstrate care and patience with us. Now is the part of the vows, which we hold dear, to quietly love them through this. Unfortunately, we have to do this by ourselves. They are not part of it.

Even though he should be your rock, you need to be the family's rock. So many have compared us to a lighthouse that provides a beacon that will show where home is. You can't force the "ship" to come home but the safety will be there.

He is being less than he should be right now. It isn't fair. You deserve to be treated better. But Mishka, don't let the circumstances be your reality. It is temporary. Yes, it may take awhile but in the grand scheme of things, it will be a short period out of a lifetime. I caution anyone to avoid justifying their decisions in their minds. Let them see the real Mishka.

My prayers are for you.