Yes, I used to be the fixer and problem solver too. That's a very natural role for me as well. But with my husband I've learned it's a role I can no longer take. I have to be more of an equal, or just let things go. This was not an easy role for me to take. It was only FULLY letting go of my marriage (I had to, H kept saying, "Wake up. It's over!!!" and telling my C in front of me, "She just can't get that through her head!!!" And my C turning to me and saying, "Tess... did you hear what he said?") that allowed me to let go, and stop trying to fix everything. There was nothing left to fix. Eventually that actually became a relief!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
