I am not sure how to answer but let me poitn out a couple of things.
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I told him my intentions are not to keep him from our home, but that I only want him to give me some respect and let me know when he's going by.
If this is your reasoning, you are not controlling him, but rather setting boundaries.
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but I'm afraid he'll move out for good if he has a key.
If this is the reason, then you are being controlling.
Obviously, he doesn't know your reasoning.
I know you are hurting and feel as if your world is shattered. Also, I am not sure whether you should give him the key or not. But at some point, you will need to let the chips fall where they may. I know you can't think about itnow, but over time no matter what happen you will be ok. Just keep that in mind.
In the meantime, do the things that make you happy. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible. Go see a counselor. Go to your your priest, rabbi, or minister. Find someone who can listen to you without being judgmental one way or the other.
Hang in there, liz. The alternative is not pretty.
