You are so right about the time needing to be right. Especially given the fact that our spouse's were feeling this way for a long time before they left. Our problems were going on for some time before they left and if it took months to deteriorate then it will take months to heal. I tell myself that all the time. I just wish my H had been better at communicaitng his feelings but then we all do or we wouldn't be here. He admitted to me a week or so ago that he tried telling me multiple times he wasn't as happy but I didn't hear him so he gave up after one try each time since that is the way he is.
You know how there are the 5 Love Languages? Well I believe there are multiple communication languages. Meaning I for instance am a very in your face tell it like it is without worrying about how it is taken type of person. I won't hesitate to tell someone they are being foolish or unwise or smack the crap out of someone that is pissing me off. Now my H on the other hand is very peaceful and accepts everyone and everything as it is and doesn't confront. So I believe our problem is that given I am confrontational I feel the only communication I understand is also confrontational and since he doesn't communicate that way I just didn't ever hear him telling me there was a problem. Now I have realized throughout this ordeal that my way of communicating is one of my problems that I have worked diligently on changing and have actually done an amazing job at it. Yes still work to do but I am so much better at letting things roll off me now and being more compassionate in regards to people in general.
Sorry to get off on a tangent there but I was trying to express my feeling on different methods of communicating.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
