Yoyo, Yep, so far this week he sent me a message on myspace and he tm me yesterday to see if it was okay if he called me. I told him that I was working and asked him if he needed something. Nope, he just wanted to chat. It really is sad that he's now coming out of the fog....when it's way too late. Maybe at the very least, he'll be able to help another WAS at some point keep from making the mistakes that he did.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
WOW! Just think just a few months ago, she was his soul mate and he couldn't live without her. Well, it looks like you came out the winner of this one, he did you a favor and you just didn't realize it at the time. As you said before you can't help but feel sorry for that innocent baby. Not the OW, but the baby only.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
(((HUGS))) lwb, your h really does act like a cornered animal sometimes, doesn't he? its like he lashes out at you, just spews at you such venom. and honestly I'd say underneath its what he feels about himself, he just can't direct it at himself, so he sends it your way. not cool for you. not fair at all. but damn, woman, you are awesome.
stay strong. I know this is a rotten moment, but who knows what is around the next corner.
the good thing is that YOU are taking care of you. you aren't sitting back, but at the same time, this is his thing, let him do his part. but you have seen to protecting yourself and your girls, and that is cruicial. no matter what, i know you will be okay.
as for ow and her h, well, I wish them luck. she is sooo messed up, I think its going to take a lot of work on their part if they really are going to make a go of it. letting go of you is probably a good thing for their recovery, but at the same time, I'm guessing if he suspects something again he'll likely break that rule.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Hope, wouldn't it be great if your ex could stage a group session with all of our was?
Let's not give him too much credit. I think he'll need a couple of months of reality once the baby is born to really get a dose of what his life is really going to be like. Once he realizes that OW will never be the type of mother I would have been...he'll be missing his considerate, loving Hope even more.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
lwb - Sorry your H is being such a jerk and saying those hurtful things. Just so you know, it's from the "book". I was accused of being in denial and it has always been implied what a crappy wife I was. Your H doesn't mean those things. He's just trying to make excuses for himself. More justification for his bad behavior.
Hope - Too bad your H will have to live for the rest of his life with this hanging over his head. My H just said the other day that he "hopes he's not making the biggest mistake of his life.." DUH!
Im so sorry for what you are going through right now!!!!!
BUT I also know you will rise above all of this in true DB fashion. You can take that to the bank when you go get the 10,000 to put in H's grubby little hands as Sara says and then watch him sweat because it won't end up being what he really is looking for. Of course it will take a 4x4 to the head for him to figure it out.
Batter up!!!!
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
While I understand the feelings quite well, don't be hard on yourself. You are not an empty shell. You are a wonderful wife and mother who has done everything right to try to save her M.
Your H is just a messed up fool. He seems too deep in his dense fog to understand the magnitude of the loss he's facing. He's so much like Sue's H right now -- but your H doesn't quite have the "excuse" of alcohol abuse (from what you've told us), whereas Sue's H definitely has that problem on top of all his other issues.
It's time you let him sink or swim.
You will get through this -- of that I am certain, because you have such a great heart and great innate wisdom. Give it over to God; lay your burdens at the foot of the cross. Focus on what is best for you and your DD's, and let the Lord take care of the rest, in His way.
