I am so sorry to hear about this big pile of bombs that got dropped on your heart last night. I think others have already said the same thing but she probably just has to go through this stage... no matter what you did, she may still have to go through the want to join the peace corps stage. If you feel discouraged, think about how differently you would have handled this conversation before you started DB'ing. I remember you mentioned earlier in your thread that you got yourself a positive life. No matter what happens you are going to be a stronger, more grounded, more fulfilled person, inside and out, because of this process.
It really sounds like she is following the script. But she's obviously so confused! Otherwise, why would she have stayed at your place overnight? And asked you to sit on the couch? And stop over before her meeting? And told you that she may have made the biggest mistake of her life last night?
You know that there is a calm, beautiful woman, full of light, somewhere inside your beloved W. Keep loving and believing in that woman, even though she is completely invisible right now.
And about the Peace Corps! Disclaimer: I would not pass this info on to your W. In fact, I would try to be supportive of whatever radical plans she has for changing her future, because she will probably just get in her own way.
But: the peace corps is a B!tch. It is not an easy thing. I have three friends who have done it. One of them LOVED it and ended up staying in ghana for an extra assignment. The other two quit and came home after a couple of months because it was so soul-suckinly hard. And these were strong ladies, not ladies trying to use the peace corps to solve a mess inside. Also, getting into the peace corps (as others have said), is really difficult. They have a specific screening process for screening out people who probably won't do well. I don't know for sure but I can imagine they would try to screen out people going through QLC's of this kind, as well as people who have suicidal thoughts! Also, it usually takes forever to get your assignment even once they accept you. So even if she goes ahead and applies (unlikely, given her confusion), and gets accepted (more unlikely), you could have six months to a year before she actually shipped out. PLUS, she might be back in just a couple of months. The two friends I have who came back early were totally isolated and had no support in their assignments. And they were in good shape emotionally.
But I would NOT tell this to your W. A couple years ago my B expressed interest in joining the peace corps and I told him how hard it was and later I really regretted it. If it's something he really wanted I should have encouraged him instead of sharing discouraging information.
Given that your W seems to be having such a rough time, I would NOT stop being her rock. It sounds like she needs your support right now, and you are doing an amazing job of being a good husband and friend to her. You know best, b/c in the end, it's your W and your heart. But that's just my two cents.
You will reap what you sow... these seeds just take so, so, long to grow in the garden of the WAS heart, and there are so many other wild plants that we cannot control competing for sun and water and nutrients....
I'm sorry to hear about all of this... but please do not be discouraged, BHopeful... you are doing amazing!! No matter how W is reacting, you are getting an A plus for your DB'ng! ((HUGS)) T
