I told Sally the other day that you are one lucky lady to have her in your corner.
As far as the comment about it being a marathon and not a sprint. You are right Sally. It's just so hard sometimes. I'd like to take off running as fast as I can to get away from the pain though. Wish it worked that easily.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Wanted to add: I am very frustrated with myself for letting H's rants/mood affect me so much. I was crushed that he treated me so rudely today, and I should be more detached than that. I am still thinking "What happened? Why is he so mad?" when I shouldn't be. Mad at LWB......
Hey, lady, there's no call for being mad at yourself. Stop that. You're a loving, caring human being in a very difficult situation. How else would you expect any normal person like youself to take the bad behavior from your spouse, the one person you took vows with and opened your heart to? If you figure out a way to not let it affect your mood, without becoming a cold and callous person (or stark raving insane), you let me know, okay?
If you figure out a way to not let it affect your mood, without becoming a cold and callous person (or stark raving insane), you let me know, okay?
We don't want to be cold and definitely not insane...so you do what you have to do to keep your spirit and your sanity and not turn into someone you wouldn't like...it's all in a day's work when you are dealing with a crazy WAS.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I feel for you - going through the same thing myself. Trying to detach but have blown it from time to time. Best you can do is recognize the goodness in yourself and the strength that has allowed you to have dealt with the things you already have.
Its been awful here. Still the ice treatment from H, either refusing to speak with me or being mean. I BOO BOO'ed big time. I meant to send this text to a friend:
"Something is going on with ___ (H). he is being horrible to me. D6 got sent home with a fever this morning. I am picking up D3 then dropping her off and leaving the house. Might go to the library".
Um, I SENT IT TO MY H!!! lmfao!! I can laugh now, but you should have heard me gasp when I realized what I did. I think my finger broke trying to 'exit' the text. he he. H wasn't even mad when I told him I meant it for someone else. However it did get him talking when I got home.
He is accusing me of dragging my heels with this D, denying its going to happen, not doing anything. I pointed out what I have been doing and H couldn't name one thing he is doing. He admits he is totally messed up right now, but isn't backing down from the D. He actually said I am getting my punishment (an unwanted D) for being a bad wife. I met with an atty this morning (interrupted because I had to pick up D6) and he said it would actually work in H's favor to move out, the judge would see he was willing to remove himself from a stressful situation for my sake and the girls. He suggested a few 'routes' to get him out quickly (things like giving him $10,000 right now and putting in the D the rest of the house will be settled at a later date, coming up with a temporary parenting plan with the agreement that he leaves the house, etc). H seemed fairly open to these, he actually said he is ready to move out.
This is so happening. He is a complete mess. And he is taking it all out on me. Everything is my fault. I need to be separated from this.
LWB, I can't believe that he said that the divorce is punishment for being a "bad wife". Wow, he is messed up. I'm so sorry, I know how bad it hurts to hear something like that even though it is such nonsense and you know it. You have done everything in your power to be a good person, wife, mother, provider, friend, supporter, I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
I'm glad that your attorney was helpful to you. I know this is hard, but you are such an awesome person, you are going to survive this. Your husband is so lost, he doesn't even begin to understand the major loss he is going to experience.
Hugs,
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
He said some more hurtful things as well. Things like he would have just *me*, but can't accept me with the family and friends I keep. That I get everything I want and he gets nothing, its been a LWB marriage, nothing in it for him. Wow.
Thanks yoyo. I am very lost right now. Can't settle in anywhere (work, home, etc). I am a walking empty shell. But I have become even more determined to rise about this, be there for my girls and protect us, even if it ticks off this crazy man that I used to call my husband.
OH OH OH I forgot the most interesting item of the day!
Everyone ready???
OW's H called today. He 'broke' up with me. He is....wait for it....taking OW back. They are going to fix things. They are staying together. He can't contact me anymore because it makes OW uncomfortable. I stifled a sarcastic remark, wished him well and told him his children deserved every shot at an intact family.
He is....wait for it....taking OW back. They are going to fix things. They are staying together. He can't contact me anymore because it makes OW uncomfortable. I stifled a sarcastic remark, wished him well and told him his children deserved every shot at an intact family.