Fear of loneliness, fear of the loss of the marriage, fear that I'll never find love again.
Fear that I'll die alone.
You were men before you married your wives. Before you were married you were single, and enjoyed it. Love happens when you least expect it to. Women do not like the smell of desperation, you got more attention when you were confident.
We all die alone. What we want is to be remembered...selfishly to be missed or mourned.
This helped me, it might help you guys.
What are you afraid of...no not the marriage and wife BS. What are you AFRAID of. Spiders, snakes, heights, falling, swimming, name it. We all have phobias. What are you afraid of?
Face it. Right now your life simply cannot be, in your head, any worse. It also plays along with the whole flirting with disaster thing.
Face your fear.
For me it was heights and falling. On a clear summer day, I got on that stupid ride called the slingshot where you sit in a steel circle, and the bungie cord arms blast you into the air and you go up and fall and go back up and fall.
I have never felt more alive.
I got off and paid $20 and went right back on. And I did that anytime I was feeling down over the course of this crappy process 4 more times.
Now without any need to I will be sky diving this summer.
My advice my 2 cents.
Overcome your fears, make that a part of your GAL, surprise yourself and surprise others who think they know you.
: )
Spiders don't freak me out anymore either.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 02/05/0806:33 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
That's all I needed...a little of good ol' Jack's wisdom. I feel better already.
Someone here on this board wrote something I'm trying to take to heart. It went something like this: We don't need relationships to survive, and chasing something we think we need isn't very appealing.
Drew...haven't checked in with you in awhile. I'll have to go over to your thread.
When I was a single guy, I always marveled at how I was able to get laid when I wasn't trying...
Lissie...I'd kill for some boredom right now.
Well...it's off to MC. Yippee.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Well to keep up on my story, w admitted to having a male friend as stated in previous post.
Well wife of "male friend" showed up at my station today and talked to me about the things she has observed. The stories that my w told me were only partially true, of course. Especially some of the time frames and flat out lies she told me...
w sees me today, friendly and happy - me not so much.
Not sure what db says to do in this situation but at the time I really didn't care, cornered her on lying so of course she lied more.. Asked her if she knew that om had 5 children, she says she did, asked her what the heck she was doing. I asked her how she could look herself in the mirror. She tried doing a little of the counselor routine on me but it didn't go over well. I didn't yell and scream, but I did tell her that her credibility with me was pretty low right now. Oh and I saw the guy, of course a friggin low-life so I made that comment too, that he was a low-life without even a job. Pretty much unloaded..
Maybe not the best thing to do, but as far as I am concerned right now I don't really give a crap... She wants a low-life good luck...
Don't attack the OM. The good news for you, is...well, he IS a low life right? Not some doctor who can take her away to Imaginarium where the sea is jello and all the food makes you lose weight...sorry MLC land for a sec.
Don't attack the OM verbally...DEFINATELY not physically.
Here is why.
You attack him, she defends him. She will. Sorry it sucks, you will drive her toward him. Its part of the beast.
If he is a low life she will discover THAT on her own. You attack him, you blind her she defends him longer. This si something where you can adversely affect what you want by doing what seems natural.
When you were first going out, she would defend you...sorry to say its the same thing.
You attack him, your the enemy, she will defend him.
Speaking from just a little experience here.
So have you determined what you can stand yet?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
