I didn't have to remind H about anything because he brought up the subject on his own. After the first time, he called about an hour or so after he left, asking if I felt ok with what had just happened. I said, "Yes. We are adults, you know. Not kids anymore." He said good because that was exactly how he felt, too.
So, yeah, I didn't tell him what I was really feeling. Again, because I didn't want to disappoint him or make him feel bad in any way for what happened. Truthfully, as I explained before, I didn't regret it at all. I just think it happened way too soon, and in another conversation which took place about a week after the first time, I did in fact share this with H. He said he understood and was sorry, but it just felt really good to touch me again. He said he couldn't help himself. (Sigh)...Can't say I blame him ! LOL...I am totally kidding!
But, as you can tell, H doesn't listen very well. Otherwise, he wouldn't have tried again so soon with the second time. I did put a stop to that one though. Calmly, of course. I do not want to fight anymore. We both don't want to. We've done enough bickering over the last 3 years to last us a lifetime and then some. I'm actually amazed at how well the last 6 weeks have gone between the two of us, although we did have a mild altercation this past weekend, but the fact that it didn't escalate into something worse like it would have in the past was a huge plus. A BIG step forward towards getting along.
In regards to C and ADs, I would love nothing more for H to get the help that I know he needs and could really benefit from, but I'm telling you, seriously, he will not go for it. Even if I were to tell him it absolutely had to happen if he wanted to reconcile. H would see it as an ultimatum, and he doesn't like ultimatums.
Perfect example: Last night, H came by to say hi to the boys. It was close to bedtime so they were already in their pj's. After visiting for a bit, the boys said their goodnights and gave their hugs and kisses to H before going to bed. H said (referring to S3), "I think it's time to bring your bed back and put it where it belongs."
A couple months ago, I took S3's bedroom set to my parents' house, thinking that the kids and I would be moving in there fairly soon. Then it was decided that we would remain in the house until we either sold it or H bought me out, and I chose to keep his bedroom set at my parents' house so I wouldn't have to eventually move it back again. Anyway, so these past months, S3 has been sleeping in my bed with me every night.
Ok, back to last night.
After H said that, he looked at me, as if waiting for me to say "Ok, you're right, I'll bring it back."
Instead, I said, "Yeah. Well, I'm not going to bring it back here when there's still a chance that it might have to go right back over there." I said this in a calm, matter-of-fact manner.
From the corner of my eye, I saw H look over at me again, so I looked at him. Then he said, like he was miffed but trying not to show it in front of the kids, "Is that an ultimatum? Are we handing out ultimatums now?"
I looked him dead in the eye and told him it wasn't anything. I was simply saying that I was not going to move furniture back into the house when things are still very much up in the air.
You know, H doesn't like ultimatums or being told what to do....Who does, right?....but he sure as hell doesn't have a problem telling me what I need to do.
I'll be back later to explain this.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
! LOL...I am totally kidding! 
